favorite photos from my phone....

p.s.

in just 8 short weeks i will see the most precious little face ever..... i can hardly wait!

if you have the time

pray for my family. we are going through many changes and preparing for the baby, as wonderful as it is, has become quite stressful. i know we will be fine but prayers never hurt anyone, right?

thx!

Showered....

Bucket hosted a wonderful baby shower at her house for me this past weekend. It was really nice! She is so good for me because she makes me snap out of my anto-social self! Had a wonderful time with wonderful people, food, and games! So happy for the people who still put up with me even when i drop off the face of the earth!

Then today, my partner teacher Nerina, planned a surprise baby shower with my students. They kept it a secret for weeks. Each student wrote me a poem and a letter. The presented them and gave me gifts. Such a wonderful day. I cannot believe how wonderful my students are. They have very little, yet they still give to me. I have the best job in the world.

My mom and other family members bought me my stroller and my carseat and I LOVE IT!
THANKS BUCKET! I LOVE YOU TO PIECES~ SORRY I AM SUCH A PAIN IN THE BUTT!

Oops!

kinda forgot about the blogging world and have been told by my BFF that i better get this thing updated.

the past month and a half has been a disaster to tell you the truth. things with the husband have been nearly unbearable. i never talk about it but my husband has an issue with addiction. this past week has broken the camel's back! pray for us.

other than that- things have been going pretty good. the baby is doing great and my belly is getting bigger and bigger. i am at 5 months now- in my 20th week. i had my ultrasound this past week and the gender could not be determined. i have had the feeling that i am having a girl though and it terrifies me a bit.

the kids are great. junior has been kinda moody but for the most part he is a good kid. he really stepped out of line this week with a comment that he made but immediately apologized for it with tears in his eyes.

emily is my pot of gold. that girl is perfection in human form. love her to death.

lindalee, my BFF from college, is coming to visit in 2 weeks to see the big ol' belly and i can hardly stand it. with all the drama at home, i am so happy to have something to look forward to. she is considering moving closer, and i am praying that something opens up so that she will be able to do so. having her near would be life-changing for me.

bucket is about to give up on me but thank the good Lord above - she hasn't yet! i love you to pieces bucket. please hang in there with me forever! i need you around to help me take my mind off of things.

some upcoming posts to expect this week:
1. a LONG LONG LONG overdue thank you to my Angel Friend
2. ultrasound pictures and maybe (just for lele) a belly shot
3. recent layouts- don't worry- there is only 3
4. post of pics
5. baby stuff wish list...

have a good rest of the week. i promise, i am back.

Names

for a girl- Audrey Michelle

for a boy- Gabriel Michael/Miguel

Girl's name is final. Boys name is still up for debate but pretty set.

Middle names are same as my brother and sister. First names are just my favorites.

Normalcy

this weekend was probably one of the worst weekends i have had in awhile. issues with the husband were totally out of control and i just wanted to run away. but of course, a three day migraine hit and i was immediately deemed useless. i was in so much pain, on so many different levels that i just wanted to shrink into oblivion.

i try to be a relatively optimistic person - but this weekend, i lost the fight. it was not good. it is now tuesday and i am back at work, picking myself off, dusting off the dirt, and getting back to - what's that word they like to use after a crisis- oh yea- "normalcy"

so, wish me luck. here goes nothing......

my very honest daughter

she is such an honest, and brave little girl. last night, after showering, she began to talk to me. as she spoke, she opened up about her concerns with this little baby coming along. she was such an open book. just spilling out her concerns and her excitement.

she said that she is so happy. but on the inside, sometimes, she is pretty nervous that everyone will forget about her and she will somehow become less important. she began to communicate to me how it is at her other house with her mom and stepdad and how the little ones get all the attention and sometimes she just gets angry.

it broke my heart to listen to this little princess talk about how she is nervous about somehow being loved a bit less. so we made a deal that in the beginning, the baby will need a bit more, and at times, mommy will be tired. but soon after, we will have special days. where she is the center of attention. and her big brother too.

i am so blessed to have a relationship with her where she knows that she can come to me with anything. and though i know the only thing that is really going to comfort her is to see it actually happen after the baby is here, she does know that my word is golden.

so, bucket, you will have to babysit so i can go on special dates with my other babies! cuz lord knows i don't leave them with the in-laws!

what are some things you did when you were pregnant with your second, or third, or.... so that your babies knew they were still loved?

11 weeks

this week i am at 11 weeks. i feel good so far. i have been puking at least once a day but everyone tells me that is a good thing because the hormones are working! woo hoo for puke, i guess.

i have told about 10 people at work who i really really trust and hopefully they don't burn me. i am hoping i can wait to tell everyone else a bit later. if someone asks, i don't really want to lie to them so that will be a touchy moment.....

overall, i am feeling great. a bit tired and puking but i'll take it!

shhhh.... its a blog world secret!

Pregnancy Tickers

BE EXCITED!!!! BUT PLEASE DO NOT POST/COMMENT ANYWHERE ELSE!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!! NOT TELLING WORK YET!

it has been a very long road for me and my husband to get to this point. after having cancer, i decided that enough is enough and i went to an infertility clinic to help us get pregnant.

the first step is a class with a nurse where we watch a video on infertility and the processes people can take to overcome it. then, at that appointment, blood work and semen analysis was ordered for me and my husband to show that we were healthy and ready to go.

one month later, we went in again and discussed what would happen next. my husbands semen analysis showed that he was just fine, which we already knew because he has two children already. so, the next step was for me to undergo Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) which was the most painful experience of my life. A thin tube is inserted into the vagina with a balloon attached. Once in the uterus, they blow up the balloon- this is where i nearly died- seriously, i nearly passed out- and insert a dye to make sure that the uterus and fallopian tubes are normal.

In my case, the doctor who performed this was horrible enough that I actually wrote a letter. I walked out of there feeling like I had been raped. It was not fun. Since then, people that I have talked to have agreed with me that this is the most painful test we as women have ever had to endure.

At our next appointment, we got the results. The HSG showed that I had blockage to one fallopian tube. This was okay though because all I needed was one to be open in order to conceive. It was at this point that an internal ultrasound to examine my ovaries. At that point, I only had one egg so I was placed on Clomid which is a medication used in infertility treatments to increase the number of eggs produced so that conception is more likely.

On the third day of my period I began to take the Clomid pills. Two a day for five days. Once the cycle was done, I went in for another internal ultrasound and I had produced two additional eggs. That appointment was on a Friday.

Finally, it was time to take an ovulation kit for the week. I had to take one test everyday for seven days. If on the seventh day, the kit never turned positive, I had to call and go in again. If it did turn positive, that day I had to call in and schedule insemination for the following morning.

THis week seemed never ending!!!! Finally, on the seventh day, it turned positive. This was November 19th and intrauterine insemination occurred on November 20th.

I was instructed to wait two weeks. If my period came, we would try again. If it did not, we would take a pregnancy test. Now, here's the tricky part- my period did come. For one day. So I was instructed to take the PT on Dec. 4th. I couldn't stand it. So I waited until I got home from work and finally decided to pee on that little stick.

I peed on the stick and it told me what I have now shared with you. I didn't believe it. So a few hours later, I peed on another stick. And the results were the same.

During last week, I bled but the doctor and nurses said not to worry. I bled for about 4 days total and had to record times and color and such. After my early ultrasound, however, I feel totally at ease. And after a week of pure anxiety, it is a good feeling.

I had my early ultrasound on Dec. 22nd and told my mom and sister that I was pregnant on Christmas Eve. I told my In-Laws Christmas morning. So now, I can share the news with you.

I will wait to tell work for a few more weeks. Just because I need to make sure everything works out during the rest of this first trimester.

I know it seems like only a few months and BAM- I'M PREGGERS! but it has actually been years of heartache and disappointment. So now, now that it is finally happening to me, I couldn't be happier!

i love verizon!

no, seriously.... i love them!

i went in today to get my husband a new phone for the holidays and told them that my son wasn't eligible for one until march but really really really wanted one for this christmas and what do you know?

they gave it to me at the discounted price!

yes, i love verizon!

Let's Go to the Movies.....

my daughter was dying to see this movie so we went... a big deal for us- we aren't really movie people. it was really cute. some things were inappropriate but i am not sure my kids even caught it. i am sure my 13 year old son did but my 9 year old seemed pretty oblivious. overall though, a cute show.

oh- and how can i forget-

my sissy is pregnant! i am gonna be an auntie again! so exciting. hopefully she will have a girl. she has two boys already and i only have one niece! either way, it is the best news EVER!!!!!

Cowgirl Up!

my brother finally took me to the rodeo and it was better than i ever imagined! thanks mikey! loved every single minute of it, mostly because i was with you!

Scrap Share: August

the one above is Bucket's LO and the one below is my scraplift! you inspire me so much mamacita!

Scrap Share for the end of July

My Brother is a Quitter!

I AM SO PROUD OF MY BABY BROTHER! HE HAS DONE A LOT OF THINGS THAT AMAZE ME, BUT THIS ONE, BY FAR, HAS AMAZED ME THE MOST! HE QUIT SMOKING (AFTER NEARLY 18 YEARS!!!! I AM NOT SURE THAT IS THE EXACT NUMBER BUT I KNOW THAT HE STARTED REALLY REALLY REALLY YOUNG!)

JOURNALING READS:

Thank you for NOT smoking! I love you! My brother would gladly give me a kidney if I needed it! Now I can accept it! Thanks Brother! One good thing about me getting cancer is the wake-up call it gave to my brother. On May 12,2008 I gave up my kidney to cancer and on May 24,2008 Mikey gave up smoking!

I love him so much and I am sooooo proud of him. He is one of my greatest friends and my life would be HORRIFIC without him! I am so happy that he will be around so much longer now!

Life's a Beach!

we spent the day at Zuma Beach. It was a great day!

(this bird was gonna eat me!)