my girl

if you are just stopping by my bolg, then you don't know how much i love my job. if you know me and read my blog because you know me, then skip to the next paragragh..... i am a teacher. my job is one of the greatest joys in my life. for the past three years i have had the pleasure of knowing, and loving a great group of kids (i say this every year) and tomorrow they will graduate. i am the teacher that cries every year. i am the teacher that has kids crying around me every year. i love my students and my students love me. we get to become like a little family and we are very close. but over the past few years, there has been one little girl (who actually isn't so little) that has become like a daughter to me.

this is my girl mariah. literally, the entire school calls her "your girl." let me give you a little background information. last year she was a fighter. and i don't mean just a little bit. she beat a girl so bad that she knocked her out of her own shoes, beat her with them, and then they could not find the shoes- ANYWHERE!!!! they even checked the roof! so i tell you this so that you know she is not perfect- but are you?

anyway, mariah has it tough. father is not around. mom who tries so hard to always be involved and do the right thing. she lives and hour away from school and has to wake up at 5:20am to get on the bus in the morning and doesn't get back home until about 5:20 pm in the evening. she has a twin brother that is just a scrappy but i love him just as much. they struggle to have what the other kids have and still be "cool" in a world where everyone has "everything". she is an incredible athlete. she struggles with her identity and her own self-esteem. so much that i cannot say to make it all so easy for you all to understand. think dangerous minds, stand and deliver, freedom fighters----then times it by 5 and you might come, just maybe, alittle close, to a taste of mariah.

this year, mariah has had a complete turn around. not one single fight. well, until yesterday but she even handled that well- she told the girl she didn't want to fight AND WALKED AWAY! she yelled LEAVE ME ALONE and the girl followed her and then threw a bottle at her neck. well, then mariah beat her ass- but.... she tried.

anyway- complete turn around- seriously. no fights. great grades. good relationships with other teachers and peers. counseling to help deal with personal issues and how to handle all the dramarama of being a teenage girl. just basically learning how to cope in the world with all the emotions of a teenager and maturing into a young lady with self control. and her academics. oh my goodness- straight As. all year. and in the hardest classes with the hardest teachers! so proud of her!

well, last night--- my baby girl had her 8th grade award ceremony and she received a Presidential Award for Academic Excellence for having a GPA of 3.67 or better, as well as an academic award in Math, English, and Physical Education. I was such a proud mama.

i know as teachers we should not have favorites. and i don't even think "favorites" is the right word. but this is what i know: students like mariah make us better teachers. they remind us why we became teachers and they make us want to always be there for out kids. she has changed my life. she has reached right into my chest, grabbed my heart, ripped it out, held onto it for awhile, until finally, placing it back into place. seriously, we have had moments like that. where i thought she just might take the life right out of me. that is how much i love this girl. like my own. i want her successes to be so great. i want her to see how wonderful she is. i wish you all could know her.

tomorrow, i have to say goodbye to another group of students. and i cry each year. but tomorrow will be the hardest. because you see, this is the first time i feel that i have let my students down. i had to leave them to fight my cancer. and while i know i didn't (really) have a choice in this, i know that they don't know this.

yesterday at the ceremony, our principal read aloud two essays written about me by two of my 8th grade students. Let me leave you with an excerpt:

"On the other hand, some people say that Mrs. A should stay at home and get better. These people are dumb because they are not thinking of her students. Also, she leaves us with bad substitutes who do not teach math like her and only confuse us and she is also going to miss culmination and we will not get a final hug from her. Mrs. A PLEASE come back!"

oh, how i wish i could've.....